A Little Tweak
The important thing to remember is that this date is not about changing attitudes, habits, or any other emotional or mental issues. It's supposed to be a light, fun date about tweaking a few physical things to fit each other's ideal and see if you both like it. Start out by agreeing on ground rules. How long will these changes last? A night, a weekend, a week, longer? Is anything off-limits? Do you look ridiculous without your beard and absolutely refuse to shave it or have you tried heels a hundred times and they always hurt your feet? Then this stuff's off the table. You should be open to your partner's suggestions and have fun with it but no one needs to be tortured or humiliated. Now that you know what you CAN'T do, it's time to have fun with what you CAN do! Each of you take a piece of paper and write down 4 things that you want to tweak. Ok, now write down a positive way to phrase the tweaks next to each one. Why? Because suggestions like this have the potential to really hurt people's feelings. For example, instead of saying "You should wear less makeup", try "You're so beautiful you don't need much makeup." Or instead of "You should wear nicer things", maybe go with "I think you look really sexy when you dress up, it makes me want to..."
When you're done, alternate reading items from your lists. Each of you will tweak your date 3 ways, which means you have 1 veto for a tweak you refuse. Vetoes are permanent, you can't veto his #2 suggestion and then switch it to #4, and you can't go back and veto something after it's passed.
- Are her shoes too girly? How about a pair of flip flops or hiking boots? Or maybe it’s time for him to throw away those smelly old flip flops.
- Help her shop for a string bikini to replace that suit with the wrap-around top (I have no idea what they’re called). Get him a good pair of board shorts.
- He looks great in jeans and a t-shirt, but would look even better in a button-down and jacket. For her, maybe she could show more leg…or less.
- It’s time he left the tighty-whities behind and started wearing boxers. Her PJ’s are cute, but maybe a negligee would look nice too?
- Replace that old baseball hat with one that doesn’t have the sweat stains. Scratch that, SHE would look good in that new baseball hat!
- Trade her workout sweats for some tights and a sports bra. Throw away his muscle shirts (quickly).
- He loves the way you look but sometimes, just sometimes, maybe you could wear a little more? With the bright red lipstick please.
- Does he prefer lip gloss to lipstick?
- Does he like the natural look with less make-up?
- Pull out a magazine and have him point out what he likes.
- Would you like her to wear a more flowery scent? Should his be less musky?
- Do they wear too much or too little?
- Have fun at the perfume counter or a specialty shop picking out brand new scents for each other!
- See how she looks in a ponytail, pigtails, braids, cornrows, or who knows what! Maybe she’ll like him with it spiky, messy, gelled, slicked straight back, or even feathered!
- It’s time to shave that beard he’s been sporting forever, or grow one, or make it a goatee. Might as well throw some sideburns in there while you’re at it!
- His back hair? Get rid of it! His chest hair? Maybe that should go too?
- Try grooming your privates a different way, or take it all off!
- Who wants to try a new color?
- Time to trade in the digital watch for a more sophisticated one?
- Have you always wondered what she would look like in a pair of big, hoop earrings? Maybe he should get an earring?
- Matching necklaces?
- Would she look sexy with an anklet?
- How about nose, tongue, belly button, or (God forbid) nipple rings?
- His. Sunglasses. Must. Go.
- See if she would look sexy in a pair of those librarian-looking specs.
- Contacts anyone?
Think about all the other stuff like belts, belt buckles, socks, nylons, purses, backpacks, briefcases, wallets, nails, etc.
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TOP DATE IDEAS
TipsMake a rule that no one can get upset or take suggestions personally. If you're sensitive, just think of it as dress-up or an excuse to go shopping. Don't get tweaked about the tweaks!
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