Rubs & Touches
After convincing your honey bunny to give the date a try, it's easy as pie to pull off. First, print out the Acrobat file containing all of the touches and rubs in cutout form (it's over there to the right ->). Then you just cut along the dotted lines, fold the slips up, and put them into a hat. Done! All that's left to do now is take turns pulling the rubs and touches out of the hat and performing them on your partner. Each slip of paper has a description, which you may want to familiarize yourself with ahead of time, along with reminders to check how your partner is enjoying the touch or would like it improved. When you pull the slip, don't tell them what's going to happen until the touching (or rubbing) begins and perform each one a few times until they say you got it right. Your partner may also like it a few different ways, so make sure they're comfortable enough to speak up. Some slips of paper also suggest mentioning things you like about the person while rubbing, but this can be ignored if you're not all that fond of them.
Now, about the atmosphere. Try to set up a romantic area that's comfortable for this type of an experience. Open a bottle of wine, light a fire and some candles, put on soft music, and spread a blanket in the middle of the floor. Did I miss anything? Nibbles like chocolate, cheese and crackers, or fruit? Whatever you like, you're probably better at this stuff than me anyway.
So what's the difference between rubs and touches anyway? Well, for the purpose of this date I've combined massages that use pressure and kneading motions (oil too) into rubs, and caresses or soft scratch-like thingies into touches. Don't worry, it all makes sense to me. You'll be using oil for the rubs, so have towels on-hand or lay a sheet over your blanket to keep it clean. Clothing depends on your relationship and could be anything from t-shirts and shorts, to swimwear, underwear, or nothing at all (the room should be warm).
The Rubs and Touches (Download Cutouts)
- Scalp (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and sit on the ground facing away from you. Kneeling behind them, anchor your fingertips along their front hairline. Synchronize your finger movements into small circles (clockwise for right, counter for left) so that the skin is pulled back from the face in the first movement and pushed back toward the center in the second. Remember to move the skin with your fingers, not to move your fingers over the skin. Do this for 30 seconds and then place your fingers an inch or two back and repeat until you reach the back of the head. When finished, run your fingers through their hair, giving the scalp a light scratching.
- Foot (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up. Apply warm oil to their foot and place it in your lap.
- Grasp their ankle with one hand and the foot with your other, gently rotating it in clockwise and counter clockwise movements. (about 5 times each)
- Hold their foot in both hands and begin making small circles over the different areas of the sole with your thumbs. Start at the top (toes) and work your way down, using more pressure on areas like the heel and ball of the foot. Ask them about the pressure, speed, and favorite areas as you go along.
- Hold the foot with one hand and use a fist to knead into the sole, paying special attention to the arch.
- Leg (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up with their legs exposed. Apply warm oil to your hands.
- Starting at the knee, move your hands up to the waist and back down the thigh in long strokes, going up in the center and returning down the sides. Do they like the pressure and speed?
- Move to one side, grasp the thigh with your hands, and knead them so that your thumbs and fingers come together. Move up and down the thigh. Repeat first 2 steps on the other leg and have them flip over.
- Work the back of the thigh as you did the front.
- Grasp the lower leg in your hands and move up the calf, using your thumbs to massage in small circles. Go up to the back of the knee and then back down again.
- Neck (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down with their shirt off so that their neck and trapezius are exposed. Apply warm oil to your hands.
- Hold their neck with one hand on each side and, starting at the hairline, move down the neck making small circles with your thumbs. End at base of trapezius and work your way back up.
- Sit to one side and hold their neck with your thumbs on one side and fingers on the other. Use a squeezing motion so that your fingers and thumbs come together and go apart. Repeat.
- Using the fingers of one hand, slide up one side of the neck from the trapezius, followed immediately by the other hand, and then the first again in a rotating motion. This hand-over-hand motion will provide continuous upward pressure as you move from the trapezius to the hairline. Repeat a few times and then do the other side.
- Butt (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down.
- Using your fingertips or thumbs, massage both cheeks in small circular motions. Ask about the pressure and speed.
- Sitting to the side, grab one cheek with both hands and make squeezing motions up and down the muscle. Now move to sitting on their legs and try kneading both cheeks at once. Did they prefer the up-down or side massage?
- Make a fist and knead into each cheek with medium pressure.
- Slap or pinch them on the butt (just a little one)
- Back (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down with their back exposed. Apply warm oil to your hands.
- Starting at the base of the spine, move your hands up the center of the back to the neck and down again around the outsides in long circular motions. How do they like the speed and pressure?
- Slowly trace the spine from the waist to the neck, using your thumbs to massage the muscle on either side of the spine in small circular motions. Repeat using swooping motions.
- Massage the shoulder blade areas, giving the shoulders a few good kneads.
- Hand (rub)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up with their palms up. Sit next to them facing their feet with their hand in your lap and apply warm oil.
Their fingers should be pointing away from you, make sure they go limp. Hold their hand between yours and start at the heel near the wrist. Use your thumbs to make short strokes from the heel moving toward the fingers. You will alternate thumb strokes so that they constantly move one over the other. Cover the entire palm in this way.
- Back (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down with their back exposed (unhook bra if necessary). Lightly run your fingertips around the neck, shoulder blades, and upper back. Move to the lower back and sides (may be ticklish). Vary the pressure and movement (up/down, circles, patterns) and ask which they prefer. Now go over the same areas using your fingernails. Do they like tips or nails better?
- Stomach (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up with their stomach exposed. Start by slowly moving your fingertips in wide circles around their stomach, from the waist around the side and chest. Vary speed and pressure as you begin making smaller and smaller circles until you end up circling the belly button. Make sure to throw in some swirls to mix up the sensations. Now try the other direction using your fingernails.
- Neck (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and either lay face-down or sit facing away from you. If your partner is female have her pull up her hair. Starting at the hairline, begin gently moving your fingertips in random patterns (not just back and forth) around the back of their neck. Explore into the hair, the area near their ears, and down to their shoulders. Vary your speed, pressure, and motions. When finished ask which they liked best. Now repeat using your fingernails.
- Front Leg (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up with their legs exposed. Begin by making long, light strokes with your fingertips from the top of the thighs all the way down to the feet (one or two legs at a time). Widen and narrow your fingers as you move them down to provide an nice pattern, pausing with the knee under your palm to slowly move your fingertips to the top of the kneecap and back down a few times before proceeding. Do this a few times using different pressure and speed. Which do they prefer? Try again with fingernails.
- Back Leg (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down with their legs exposed. Begin by making long, light strokes with your fingertips from the bottom of the buttocks all the way down to the ankles (one or two legs at a time). Widen and narrow your fingers as you move them down to provide a nice pattern, pausing at the back of the knee to make small circles (be careful, many people are ticklish here). Vary the speed and pressure while doing this a few times. Repeat with fingernails.
- Arms (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up with their arms exposed and palms up. Starting at the top of one shoulder, gently trace a pattern like a skier going down a mountain with your fingertips. When you get to the hand make light circles and figure 8’s on the palm before brushing their fingertips. Vary the speed and pressure while doing this a few times. Did they prefer it on the inside or outside of the arm? Repeat with fingernails.
- Face (touch)
This one is face-to-face touching only. Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up. Straddling their waist, lean over and place your cheek against theirs. Lightly move toward their ear and trace it with your cheek, nose, or lips. Move down around the neck to the other side (kissing is permitted). If you’re female and have long hair, lean over your partner and let your hair brush against his face and neck (this may tickle).
- Tickle Feet (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down. Take one foot in your hand lightly tickle the bottom of foot. See how much you can make them squirm before they get their foot away. Give them a kiss for being a good sport.
- Hair (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and sit facing away from you. Starting at their rear hairline, run your fingers up into their hair. Moving gently over the scalp, slowly widen and contract your fingertips. Alternate between fingertips and nails.
- The Butt (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down with their rear exposed. Starting at the bottom of their bottom, lightly run your fingers up to the tailbone area and then back down on the sides, making circles with your hands. Slowly tighten the circles until you reach the center of each cheek. Using your nails, lightly rake their rear from top to bottom, hitting all areas of the cheeks. When you’re finished give them a light kiss or gentle bite back there.
- Ear (touch)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up. Straddling their waist, lean down and lightly trace their ears with your fingertips. Concentrate on the outside of the ears and lobes, but explore the backs (where they meet the head) and center to see if they like those spots too. Ticklishness can be an issue with this one. When finished, turn their head to one side and give their earlobe a little nibble.
- Neck (breath)
This is the no-touch touch. Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up. Slowly move your face around their neck, ear, and cheek areas, deeply inhaling their scent. Make sure to exhale firmly (not too hard) so that your breath can be felt on the different areas of their neck, ears, and cheeks.
- Stomach (lips)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-up with tummy exposed. Using only your lips, softly move around the stomach and belly button areas. Your lips don’t always have to be in contact with the skin, warm breath can feel nice too. Make sure to breathe gentle, warm air – don’t blow on them so that it feels cold.
- Back (lips)
Have your partner close their eyes and lay face-down with back exposed. Using only your lips, softly move around all over the back, concentrating on the sensitive lower back. Your lips don’t always have to be in contact with the skin, warm breath by itself feels nice too. When using breath, make sure to breathe gentle, warm air – don’t blow on them so that it feels cold.
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