Bad Ideas for First Dates

2009-10-12

Ok, so the site is focused on good date ideas but it occurred to me that it wouldn't hurt to address some of the bad date ideas I've heard about, specifically bad first dates. When the two of you click it’s hard to think of an idea that won't be fun, but there are certainly ones that make it a lot tougher. Like: The Movies (or a Play) For such a popular first date choice, movies are probably one of the worst. A first date is about talking, getting to know each other, watching how your date acts and reacts, and ultimately deciding whether or not you want a second one, right? So how does a movie stack up? Well, you can't interact, you won’t learn anything about your date, and you don't really even see each other. Hmmm, not good. I mean sure, I can understand kids going to the movies on a first date. At that age it's a chore to keep up a conversation anyway, plus half the fun is sitting next to your date in the dark and maybe rubbing up against their arm. But if you're old enough to vote, you should really come up with some new ideas. Concert On the surface, concerts seem like a good idea for two people with similar musical tastes but there's one big problem. IT'S TOO LOUD! You're going to spend half of the time yelling "What?!?" and even if you could hear you're packed in so tight that you'd have no privacy anyway. It might be a fun night, but you aren't going to learn much about your date. I will say that one exception to this rule is outdoor concerts in the park where people can wander off and chat, bring a picnic, and have their own space. I love live music and concerts can be amazing, but wait til the 3rd date. Family Event Your family's probably great and the event may be a laid-back bbq or pool party, but that doesn’t matter - this is not a first date. Meeting family and friends is waaaay too much pressure to put on your date right away. First dates should be on equal ground, not with your relatives hovering, whispering, and telling a bunch of inside jokes. Besides, do you really want Uncle Joe to share the story about you eating rabbit droppings when you were 2-years-old? Your date may agree to it and even end up having a good time, but you could do much better. Save it for the 7th date. Bar Hmmm…a loud, dark room with lots of drunk people. What could go wrong? Yeah, bars are a bad idea and don’t exactly make the best first impression. In my opinion, the one exception to this is a quick drink after work at happy hour for a casual meeting. I like it because the crowd is generally mellow, time is limited so you have an out, and if things go well you can make plans for a second date or even head straight out for an early dinner. Your Place You might be the best cook in the world and can’t wait to impress your date with your culinary skills or maybe your place has an amazingly-romantic view. None of this matters. Inviting someone to your place for a first date sends the wrong message. Fast Food This is what fast food says: "Hi, I’m cheap and unoriginal, wanna be my girlfriend?" At least try to make a good impression by choosing an interesting little café or coffee shop in your area. You can trust me on this one; I tried the fast food thing once, it did not go well. The Mall Apparently this isn't a big secret since the mall is the lowest-rated quicklist item on Hot Date Ideas. A New Sport or Activity So you were chatting up your date and happened to mention your boat and weekly wakeboarding trips. In return they may have lit up and even said "I would love to try that sometime!" But "sometime" is not the first date. Challenging sports like wakeboarding, skiing, or even tennis can be extremely frustrating and put a lot of pressure on your date to not look like a complete spaz. They really do want to try it, but maybe a few dates from now. You're Locked-In This is a topic I’ve touched on before but think needs emphasizing. Try to avoid any date where you’re locked-in for a significant period of time if you don’t have a pretty good feel for your date. You don't want to drive an hour into the country for wine tasting just to find out there’s absolutely no chemistry and you disagree on everything. That's a long ride home. There’s a reason first date horror stories are so funny – we've all had plenty of them. Save yourself from any more. If you’re looking for ideas, check out at the first date ideas page and consider easy stuff like wine tasting(at a local shop), hiking, or just playing cribbage at a coffee shop.

melanie
2009-10-13

I think the beach is a bad idea. I did that once and it was a little strange being in bathing suits wihtout knowing him yet.
Dave
2009-10-13

Melanie, I considered the beach for that exact reason but think it's a good first date spot if people want to go down there for a walk, to fly a kite, play frisbee, or any of the other things they can do without stripping down to swimsuits. Thanks for commenting!